Q: I’ve always wanted to study abroad or live overseas, but I’m worried about living in an unfamiliar place. Do you have any advice for how to deal with culture shock?

A: Oh man. This is a great question, but unfortunately, there’s no real right answer for it. I’ll give you my take on it, based off of personal experience. Keep in mind that everyone’s experience is different, and no one lives life the same way, so what I say might not totally relate to you.

To be honest, when I first moved to Japan, it was my first time being so far away from my family for an extended amount of time, and it was really scary for me. Half scary, half exciting. I had no idea what I was capable of at the time, I was nineteen with hardly any life experience. You’re going to face a lot of challenging moments, so the best thing to be is openminded. Be ready to accept that other people may have learned something different from you, and your idea of right and wrong may be challenged. Living abroad gave me a lot of reasons to be self reflective. I tried to reevaluate all my choices and how I did things in order to make sure I was doing them for the right reasons, and thought about how to explain some of my behaviors to people in case of conflict in teams and groups.

Be confident in being independent. You absolutely should ask questions and look for answers (in fact, making a list of all the questions you want to ask is a great idea), but don’t overly rely on others to help you solve your problems. If you’re concerned, ask your parents or people you trust (FaceTime is an awesome invention) for advice, even if they can’t totally help fix the situation. There might be people from your same country and culture that can help you, and they are a great resource a lot of the time. Don’t overly rely on their words though, try to come up with your own opinions and decisions on things. The reason I say this is because in times of need, its better to ask for help from people with similar values and perspectives as you, simply because it is easier for them to put themselves in your shoes and give you options you can understand. I often wish I hadn’t been so dependent on friends in general, because it created a toxic environment that eventually ended the friendship. Your friends are people too, they are not perfect and they’re not foolproof. So, second piece of advice: Don’t be afraid of being alone and independent. It will make you a stronger person in the long run. Not only that, it will help you to maintain a healthy boundary with your close friends.

I’ve seen a lot of people who’ve studied abroad and said “Go! Put yourself out there! Experience everything as much as possible!” And I agree with that to a certain extent, however, I highly, highly recommend taking time for yourself. It’s easy to lose yourself when you are hyper-focused on ‘being a part of everything.’ This might be the introverted side of me, but I think there is a lot to be gained from taking time to yourself to recharge. Being involved in everything can stretch you thin and wear you out to your breaking point. You, like me, may not even realize you are stressed out until someone says something like “What’s wrong with you??” to you. My parents were the ones who pointed out I was acting crazy, and I had had no idea up to that point. It’s important to know your limits and take a step back from being involved in everything to just live and enjoy your life.

Just remember that by moving to a new country, you have to be prepared to relearn how to be an adult there. Many of the things you learned how to do in your home country will be done differently somewhere else, so don’t be shocked or intimidated by that, and take everything as a learning experience. Do that, and you should have no problem starting over in a new environment!