One of the feelings I used to hate the most was being uncomfortable.

I mean, most of us (well, I’m guessing all of us, actually) hate the feeling of being uncomfortable. It’s one of those feelings we never forget and we relive before we fall asleep at night. When we’re in an uncomfortable situation, we tend to want to get out of it ASAP, and find a way to make it more comfy for ourselves.

But when I think about it, if things were always within our comfort zone, would we be forced to learn everything that we have learned through those uncomfy situations? What have you really lost when you are thrust into an uncomfortable situation, and what have you gained from it?

Because, to be honest, being uncomfortable in a situation has always forced me to come up with solutions to problems, and it has always forced me to change. I wasn’t able to stay still, I had to grow; I had to move. It could be incredibly painful and scary in the beginning, but I always ended up okay, in the end. I even get a sense of achievement from those situations, like, “Ok, that was really scary, but I survived that, and I’m actually ok.” And it’s not a bad feeling, to be honest.

There’s a saying: “Get yourself out of your comfort zone.” Why do you think someone came up with that saying, unless it is actually a relevant message to us?

I’ve heard a lot of my friends protest this phrase in the past: “I like my comfort zone. Why would I want to get out of it??” I used to laugh about it with them, because on some level, I agree with them. My comfort zone is where I felt safe, and I didn’t like the feeling of being uncomfortable outside of it. Sticking around in my ‘comfort zone’ seemed like the easiest way to go through life, and it is, in a lot of ways.

But there are some serious downfalls to trying to make yourself feel comfortable no matter what, and in the end, it can completely wreck your life.

What do I mean by that?

Well, for starters, its really hard to consistently maintain that comfort zone all the time. You end up pushing your need to feel comfortable with yourself and where you’re at onto other people, whether they are friends or strangers, and telling them that they need to make you feel comfortable, or else. I know you guys know what I’m talking about: a huge aspect of our modern culture is this idea that we need to try and bubblewrap everything we say, just in case we make someone uncomfortable with what we actually want to say. But the thing is, by trying to make everyone else feel comfortable, we fail to stay true to ourselves.

The same thing goes for wanting to feel comfortable for the sake of our own comfort zone. Forcing others to make us feel comfortable will wear down our relationships with them. Eventually, they will move forward in their lives and leave us behind, where we are left feeling sorry for ourselves. If we don’t move on, and take ourselves out of our comfort zones, we will end up constructing walls of bitterness and frustration, with everyone and everything, around ourselves. This is very self-destructive, because in that state, we are unable to drag ourselves out of our own skewed perspective on life, and it gives us a limited view on what is going on around us.

What I’m trying to say is, your comfort zone limits you, and it can make you bitter with your life because of it.

That’s the mental and emotional aspect of trying to stay in your comfort zone, what about the mental and physical aspect of trying to stay in your comfort zone? There are other situations in which wanting to stay in our physical comfort zone can harm us, or even endanger our lives.

When I first thought about going to Japan, I was not totally comfortable with the idea. Of course, I wanted to go, but that didn’t mean I liked the idea of being far away from my parents, in a country I knew virtually nothing about. And I will say that pretty much the entire time I lived abroad, I was incredibly uncomfortable. I mean, I couldn’t even go to the doctor comfortably. My Japanese is conversational at best, and I was intimidated by the idea of being outmatched in my vocabulary if I went to the doctor. I inevitably had to go, though. One of the first times (actually, it might’ve been the very first one, I can’t even remember… it’s all a blur), I was basically forced to go by my friends.

I was very, very badly sick, and almost fainted in the middle of class at one point. I had a 103° fever, which was high enough for the nurse’s eyes to go wide with shock when she took the thermometer back from me.

The speed at which she got everyone in the waiting room to put on a mask was very impressive, looking back on it.

I still didn’t want to be there, despite the very concerned and alarmed reaction I had received after arriving there, and despite the doctor telling me I desperately needed antibiotics and put me on an IV almost immediately. I was uncomfortable with the idea that I was inconveniencing my friends by needing them to look after me, I was uncomfortable with asking for help, and I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having to explain what was wrong with me in a language I was not proficient in. I almost died, really, because I resisted a situation that made me uncomfortable.

Think about if I had continued to resist going to the doctor because I was scared of being uncomfortable or even judged? My friends might’ve had to send me to the hospital in an ambulance, or worse. And what if I decided not to go to Japan at all, or quit school after the first couple miserable experiences I had with classes there? Because, believe me, I was miserable in several instances while going to classes (with a few notable exceptions, because of the great professors who taught them).

I’m the first to admit I’m not a great student, I’m average at best, and I don’t like sitting still in a classroom for hours (there are some great photos from elementary school which display my case in point, maybe I’ll include them in my photo gallery at some point. My teachers, luckily, thought I was adorable). I prefer to be moving around and learning in my own way, rather than being trapped at a desk or told what to think. However, most schools do not teach in such a flexible way, and prefer the latter method of instruction (which I believe sucks all the imagination, creativity, and curiosity out of a person, but that’s a discussion for another article at another time).

I kept going, though, despite how painful it was for me. Despite the discomfort I constantly felt, I kept going.

It was so hard to even get through the day sometimes. Japan was a difficult environment for me, and I can’t even say I got used to it or comfortable with it, even up till the end of my time there.

I don’t regret it though, not even a little bit. I would not be the person I am today if I had not decided to push myself out of that comfort zone I was in, and challenge something unfamiliar to me. I was challenged emotionally, mentally, and physically, and although I didn’t win every battle, I turned out alright at the end of the war (oh, and trust me, it felt like a war).

The fact is, we will never be totally comfortable in this life, and that’s okay. Of course you should take moments to relax and recharge (Lord knows I do. I need my recharge time. I think we all need those moments, or even days, to re-center ourselves with who we really are), but don’t let fear of being challenged and uncomfortable control your life and hold you back from opportunities. Whether its an opportunity to have a life-changing conversation, or a life-changing new environment, get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable, otherwise you will miss out.

Yes, it may be hard, and it will definitely challenge your limits and boundaries, but you will learn so much more about yourself, and about other people too, if you allow yourself to step outside what you are comfortable with. It allows you to stay true to who you really are, and keeps you from shutting down on yourself or from getting ‘stuck.’ We, as humans, are not meant to stay still. We have to confront both the world, and ourselves. We have to move forward, even when the terrain is unfamiliar and maybe a little scary, we have to challenge it anyway. That is what is to live as humans, and to live as a part of this world.

“If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity