I wasn’t originally going to go to university at all, when I graduated from high school. Sure, I had an interest in Asia, but I didn’t want to continue schooling at all. I have hated school since I was in 1st grade of elementary school (no offense to my former teachers intended). I hated group assignments, homework, and being judged by letters on a page with no chance to make up for mistakes. I thought the whole thing was utterly ridiculous and unrealistic.

HOWEVER.

I went to university anyway, because one morning, I woke up, and I heard God tell me, “Look up ‘international schools in Japan.” (I should preface this with the fact that I am a strong Christian, so I do what I believe I am called to do).

To be honest, if I didn’t think I had to go, I wouldn’t have. Although I’m not sure about my career path, I never enjoyed the pressures of school or the status quo. However, since God woke me up at 3 am, I had to assume it was for some kind of purpose.

So I looked it up. It popped up right away.

I found my school.

And I applied.

When I got accepted, I was thrilled, but also stressed. I’ve had no experience with Asian schooling, or Asian teachers. I don’t think I had a single Asian teacher in my entire school life, until university.

I gotta say, I wasn’t prepared.

Asian instructors, whether they are Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Indonesian, or any other Asian country, are strict. They had different standards than what I was used to. They had different styles of lectures and different ways of teaching.There was so much emphasis on memorizing for exams, but little emphasis on actually learning anything for practical purposes. School was even more difficult and confusing than it ever was in America. I struggled, constantly. I fought with friends, lost people, and had a low GPA. I really wondered,”Why am I even doing this?” I thought about quitting multiple times, and nearly did in my Junior year.

I was involved in multiple clubs, even leading as an event organizer for all three, and HR manager of my main club. I also did part-jobs and an internship in the midst of it all. I realized (after suffering health issues from over-work and stress) that I had spread myself too thin by trying to fix everyone’s problems. Trial by fire is a mild way to put the experience. To top it all off, some of my closest ‘friends’ used my kindness to their advantage, and left me picking up the pieces of what they left behind. Needless to say, they were the friends I lost. I can’t pretend that didn’t break my heart, but because of all the things I dragged myself through, I learned a lot about working with other people.

Now, at the tail-end of it all, I found out that there are a few things about going to school abroad that I believe are very valuable:

1. Every culture has its own unique way of dealing with things.It could be with projects, studying, or just regular problems. Some people from particular cultures avoid problems all together, some are blunt and confrontational, and some talk their way out of whatever it is, doing their best to save their own ass (these are the people I struggled with the most, I can’t stand those who take undeserved credit or make excuses, but I also had to check myself, to make sure I didn’t do the same). There are some who will make an effort to maintain a relationship with you, and others who will lie to your face when it benefits them to do so.It’s important to look at these confrontations, or lack thereof, from a bird’s-eye view. Don’t take it personally. 98% of the time, the conflict is just due to a person’s cultural or personality difference. Plus, people are immature. It doesn’t matter how old they are or where they are from, people mature at different rates due to their personal issues and experiences. How you handle a situation reflects who you are, so it’s important to take everything people do with a grain of salt. I learned the hard way, working with people requires patience and reasoning. As soon as you get emotionally affected by something, you lose. Of course, when people try to attack your weaknesses, it’s hard to take it without snapping back, but holding back and speaking calmly works to your advantage in the long run.

2. The standards people measure you by are meaningless, what is most important is the standard you want to maintain for yourself. What I mean is: this world is full of people with different ideas on what is the right way to study, the right way to act, the right way to live. Because all those ideas are all different according to the culture or person, it is important to find values for yourself to keep, so that you become the person you want to be, not the person others want to see. It’s sometimes hard to maintain your own standard, I know from experience that it easy to lose yourself when you want to please others. However, it’s extremely important to be able to recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. In the end, you are the one you have to live with for the rest of your life.

3. Grades are important, but what you learn from experience is worth its weight in gold. Don’t be too upset about your grades, whether you have a 4.0 or a 2.0 (try not to get a 2.0, though). In the end, grades do not measure your intelligence, they measure your obedience. If you are the type of person who thinks outside the box, don’t hesitate to do so, scores be damned. If you are a person who loves to help others, like me, don’t be disappointed when they score better than you, or succeed more than you. All it means is that you are a good teacher. I do not regret a single moment I spent supporting others, because maybe, even if they didn’t do perfectly, maybe they gained a little bit of strength from what I told them. The kindness I gave them is irreplaceable. Even if they used that kindness, I don’t have anything for them to complain about. What? I was too nice? Who’s fault is it for trying to manipulate my generosity for their benefit? Say what you want, but I always tried to look out for others before myself.

Grades have always been a huge stressor for me, but I began to realize that I am a hard worker despite those grades. Where others may have given up, I stubbornly kept trudging through everything. There were certain goals I set for myself, and I reached those. One was my thesis. I didn’t do well in classes requiring memorization or regurgitation of the professor’s opinion, but the classes that I had to think for myself and develop my opinion based on research, I scored well. I’m not saying that memorizing things doesn’t help you, but thinking for yourself makes you a better person, and a better professional. My one piece of pride in academics was the A+ on my thesis. It was as though it confirmed my effort throughout school, and my intelligence as a whole. Everything else I learned was from working hard for others, and experiencing life outside the stability of a classroom.

I was incredibly frustrated and pressured throughout university, and I hesitate to list all the things I went through. I went through so much, I felt hopeless at many points. The one comfort I have is that I learned something, although what I learned has nothing to do with academics.

I learned how to deal with people and relationships, whether they were professional relationships or friendships. I experienced what it will be like working in a professional system with little consequences (this was also a disadvantage, there are so many things that happened that were incredibly dysfunctional, and would never work in the real-world). I experienced being around different people from multiple kinds of backgrounds and cultures, and learning how to work with them. I also learned which kinds of people I ‘clicked’ with the most. Sometimes it was a certain type of personality, or even a particular culture I could get along well with.

I also learned not to generalize people (although sometimes I do it subconsciously). There are definitely some traits people from the same culture share, however, I learned that everyone is unique unto themselves. Honestly, that was the best part of working with people. I found their stories, experiences, and perspectives fascinating.

Not all my experiences were good, but every single one came with a lesson attached.

Through those lessons, a certain factor stood out amongst all the mess: Perspective is key.

All the things I mentioned above were my own personal changes in perspective. Not just perspective on the world around me, but also my perspective on myself. The fact is, I didn’t really know who I was before I went overseas. I grew up in a good home, in a decent financial status (we weren’t rich, at all, but my parents made sure we had good education and food on the table, and my respect for them grew even more after living alone in a foreign country), with a stable foundation in Christian principles. When I went to my university, I met all sorts of people. Everyone had a story, everyone was their own main character, and everybody had an opinion.

I don’t know why I never fully realized it before, but I began to see just how incredible the people in this world can be, completely unintentionally. Most people who tried to be inspiring often turned out to be empty words, while those who quietly kept soldiering forward gained my admiration. They may not have realized they were strong by simply walking in faith, but I saw it. I remember them, and their stories.

See, perspective is recognizing that you may not know everything there is to know about the world, and the only way you will learn is by listening to others; and after listening to them, respecting them for it. No one can know everything, but alone, we know nothing at all. Knowledge is one aspect of perspective, but the other is wisdom. Wisdom is having respect for other people. Wisdom is having humility in your own life (not to be confused with self-deprecation. Humility and selflessness are not devaluing yourself, but simply recognizing the value in other people). You can’t change your perspective on the world without any of these factors, and it is important to adjust your perspective. If you don’t, you may find yourself very much alone.

It took a surprisingly long time for me to be secure and comfortable with recognizing I don’t know everything, and that is perfectly fine. I thought I needed to prove my worth constantly, but as it turns out, your worth is not something you can prove. It’s something that is a given, and whether people acknowledge it or not is up to them. You don’t need to make them understand, wisdom is letting it go and adjusting your perspective again. Again, perspective is key.

Studying abroad was hard, and even miserable at times. Readjusting your perspective on life can be a very painful process. Hold onto what is important to your life, but don’t forget that other people have things that are important to them, too. Learning and respecting others is what makes life beautiful.

If you’re up for that challenge, I encourage you to move out of your comfort zone and into a new horizon. You won’t be the same by the end, but you won’t want to go back to who you were before, trust me. The world is so much more vibrant when you learn to take risks and discover the unknown.